Ask Dr. Garrison


                         The Relationship Specialist


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Reply jerome hosea garrison
7:12 PM on January 18, 2014 

QUESTION; Did the church play a Role in the Civil Rights Movement?

ANSWER; Yes.  Unfortunately it was the false teachings of the church that endorsed and enforced slaverly. Many so called christians were teaching that slaverly was the moral thing to do. Many believed that slaverly was biblical because of the curse of Cannan (Genesis 9:25).    Thank God for the Civil Rights Movement. Many lives were lost in the fight for freedom and Justice for all.  It is through the gospel that we come to understand that, "All men are created equal".    The Black Church has been the flame bearer of the civil rights movements since it's beginning, and Christanity has played a prominent role in establishing a moral consciousness for the ciivil rights of blacks in America. Many individual and collective efforts contributed to the freedoms we now enjoy African Americans, but few institutions provided the united voice echoed by the Black Church. The Black Church, established because of the necessity to create a place of worship separate from whites, became significant as an organized body where opposition concerning the treatment of it's congregations could be voiced. It progressed from a place of spritual healing, to one of social and political awareness, createing a litany of protest advocating rights afforded by the U.S. Constitution.

Reply jerome hosea garrison
3:31 PM on June 15, 2013 

QUESTION;  Why do we celebrate Fathers Day?

ANSWER;  The third Sunday of June has been set aside to celebrate fatherhood.  It is disturbing that we live in a country where this day is still not recognized as a special day.  I will admit that as men and fathers some of us have not lived up to our God ordained expectations. God put a lot on our shoulders. We are to teach, cultivate, provide and protect.  That is an awesome challenge and many men go beyond the call of duty.  Have you noticed that on Mother's Day mothers are praised as hard-working moms of America, while the messages on Father's Day often challenge underperforming dads. As we celebrate Father's Day let us remember that these special days are set aside to appreciate the roles of mom and dad, not to reprimand and remediate the poorly performing parent.  What message are we sending fathers if all they hear is how they don't measure up to biblical standards?   I agree we have a crisis in America with regard to godly men. Many women and children long for the love and leadership a Christian husband and leader provides.  However, men deserve their day of appreciation too.  We can all use a little encouragement. God will always do mighty works with a few GOOD MEN!   Have a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY EVERY DAY!

Reply jerome hosea garrison
5:38 PM on June 10, 2013 

Hello Essej, Jealousy is a normal emotion and it will raise its head in all relationships. It is an emotion that can destroy relationships if allowed to get out of control. If you see extreme jealosy in a potential mate, you need to put on brakes, before it's to late.. When you see extreme jealousy and you are not even a couple this is a red flag. It could mean a number of things. We all have past experiences and those past issues determine our expectations. If jealousy is there and the relationship has not started you might not want to go there. You don't want to start off with problems. If you desire to pursue the relationship you are going to have to talk about it. Try to discuss why that trust is an issue and be honest and talk about the fears. Try to make this a calm, rational conversation. Tackling the problems of jealousy and insecurity begins with an awareness and understanding of the root causes. Jealousy and insecurity can be emotional reactions to scenarios in your mind that may or may not be true. Thoughts, ideas or beliefs may float through your mind based on reality....or not. Sometimes the feelings of jealousy can be useful, signaling that something is wrong in this potential relationship and needs to be discussed. If this is the case, then it can be an opportunity for growth. The person who is struggleing with jealousy must try to understand the trigger for the emotion. What was the root cause? Pay attention to the times when you feel jealous or insecure and see if you can figure out what might have happened right before that triggered these emotions. After determining what the precipitating incident, thought or worry was, ask yourself the following questions: Did something from the past or present trigger the feelings of jealousy and insecurity? Was this something imagined or real? Are the feelings rational or irrational? Are these feelings really about your insecurities? Do you have low self-esteem? If you find that the jealousy or insecurity came more from personal or past relationship history then find ways to let go of the past and live more in the present.

Reply jerome hosea garrison
4:33 PM on June 10, 2013 

Essej says...
Doc, what do u do about a potential mate who has extreme jealousy ? Outside of that they have a beautiful upside.

Reply jerome hosea garrison
3:27 PM on June 8, 2013 

Hello Gigi, I'm sorry to hear that your child is hurting, but I am happy to hear that she trust you enough to let you know what she is feeling. This is a good sign. So many young people fail to express their feelings and we are seeing the negative results. Every feeling that is repressed or supressed will be expressed. Without proper guidance it will likely come out in a negative way. She is saying she feels that God is not helping her.  All she is doing is expressing her emotions. Emotions are a gift from God, they have influence. They are designed to help you. When we are healthy emotionally we express them either through joy or pain, we see sunshine or we see rain. We control our emotions are they control us. When a child is expressing that God is not there that child is simply saying that they are hurting.  We as christians know that God never leaves us, we only leave him. When we are hurting we feel like God has left us. God is alive and he is in charge. He is in heaven but he works through His body(the Church) down here on earth. Your daughter is in pain and the way that pain is released is through talking it out. Once she has expressed her feelings there may be something she will have to  do differently. She can  rest assured that God has not left her. As long as theres a Holy Spirit and a church she is covered.

Reply Gigi
8:47 PM on June 5, 2013 

Hello Dr. Garrison, 

The other day my child asked me, "Mommy, if God knows that I am hurting why won't he help me?" and to my everlasting shame I could not answer; because I thought the same thing...  My love for the Lord is unwaivering and where he leads me, I'll follow and rejoice all the while; but how do you explain to a child...

Reply jerome hosea garrison
8:35 PM on June 5, 2013 

QUESTION: "Does the Bible condemn interracial marriage?"

ANSWER: The Bible deals with the problem that interracial marriage inflicted upon his people. The Old Testament Law commanded the Israelites not to engage in interracial marriage in, Deuteronomy 7:3-4). However, the reason for this was not race but religion. The reason God condemned interracial marriage was that the people of other races were idolaters and worshippers of false gods. The Israelites would be led astray from God if they intermarried with idol worshipers, pagans or heathens. God gave this warning. They refused to listen and they fell away from God. The Apostle Paul deals with this principle in the New Testament in ( 2Corinthians 6:14) "Do not be yoked together with unbelivers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? The Isralites were commanded not to marry unbelievers. In the New Testament there is no law forbiding it. To answer the question specifically, no, the New Testament does not say that interracial marriage is wrong. We are not under law but under grace. Paul asked the question in (Romans 6:1) Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Of course not, vs.2 God forbid. How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer in sin). We should not do anything that would lead us away from God. When selecting a mate, a Christian should always first find out if the potential spouse is a born again Christian. Faith in Christ, not skin color, is the Biblical standard for choosing a mate. Interracial marriage is not a matter of right or wrong, but of wisdom, discernment and prayer. When it comes to the subject of race mixing we are all mixed up. We live in America. Who among us can claim a 100% pure race...

Reply jerome hosea garrison
12:51 PM on June 4, 2013 

Why are so many Christians getting divorsed? There are many reasons but I believe that the primary reason is, the lack of a vision for the marriage. The wise Preacher Solomon said in Proverbs 29:18, "Where there is no vision the people perish". A marriage without a vision is doomed to fail. You can stay together and not be together. God is concerned about the institution of marriage, but he is more concerned about the people of the marriage. The priorities in the Church concerning marriage have been greatly misplaced. We have judged the "marriage institution" to be greater than the couples who make up the marriage. When a couple no longer has a great relationship, the marriage is no longer great. When we care more about our marriage than our marriage partner, we have misplaced the emphasis of our relationship. Being married does not create a great relationship,but having a great relationship creates a great marriage. If we put the institution of marriage first, instead of the people, we lose the vision of the institution. The vision of the people make the institution what it is. Without a vision, failure and collapse are inevitable. When the dreams for the marriage that are in the heart of the husband and wife go out because of a bad relationship, the marriage is on a collision course with a bad situation. But as long as there is visiion for the marriage, the marriage will continue. When a married couple loses the vision for the marriage, which is that joy a person possesses in their heart to spend the rest of their days with their mate, it is hard to rekindle on their own. However God is able through willing hearts.

Reply Gino's Garden
7:16 PM on February 20, 2012 

Well, it is always better to think in those terms. Thanks!

jerome hosea garrison says...

Gino, you mentioned that your dad favored your older sister, Im sure this was not intentional on his part, you and your sister are different. Sometimes one child may need more attention due to personality differences. The beautiful thing for the child of God is that God gives you favor. And so often the family dis-connect is the inspiration to connect to the father in heaven.

Reply Gino's Garden
12:27 PM on February 16, 2012 

Thanks Dr. J'. This is such a common, unfortunate occurrence. I actually understand first hand the issue. My dad favored my older sister... I think that it is difficult when our children are young to conceive that someday they will grow up...


jerome hosea garrison says...

Geno, You asked a question about treating children differently, I would like to respond at this time. A large proportion of parents display consistent favoritism toward one child over another. This favortism can manifest in different ways: more time spent with one child, more affection given, more privileges, less discipline, or less abuse. Despite its taboo in our society, we consider some cases of parental favoritism to be fair and even necessary. For example, parents give more attention to newborns than they do to older children. The same goes for children who are sick or disabled. In these situations, parents should discuss the unequal treatment with the disfavored children in order to assure them that it's nothing personal.

Reply Gino's Garden
4:28 PM on February 11, 2012 

jerome hosea garrison says...


        We understand that simular tastes in food and movies will not hold your relationship together, while different hobbies and passions will not necessarily drive you apart. Opposing cultures, tastes and opinions can actually benifit a relationship by introducing each person to a whole new perspective. Besides, contrasting personalities is a positive: nobody wants to date themselves. Although it seems logical for an aggressive man to be attracted to equally aggresive women, as we learned in physics, to positive fields will not produce energy. A negative and a positive, on the other hand, can make sparks fly.  Opposites can contribute to the chemistry in a relationship, but if the two of you are too different, you might end up heading in different dirrections.   For example; if you are a christian and you are only attracted to nonchristians, there are serious issues and I would encourage counseling..


I agree Dr. Garrison... I would not want to date someone just like me...boring! And in my younger days my eye for 'bad boys' ---oh, for grace... If we could all have someone that completes us; we could have everything that we are and everything that we are not...

--that's all I'm sayin'...

Reply Gino's Garden
11:48 AM on February 10, 2012 

Dr. Garrison,

I know of a woman who has two children that treats them differently. She tends to treat the younger child better or differently than the older. What advice should I offer her?

Reply Gino's Garden
11:38 AM on February 10, 2012 

Gigi says...

I love the saying "It's the strength of the mountain mover!" Amen!



"It's not the size of the mountain... It's the strength of the mountain mover" "Mountain get out of my way" "Hide behind the Mountain" "Rough side of the mountain"... All too familiar.

...well said...

Reply Gigi
10:58 PM on February 9, 2012 

jerome hosea garrison says...

The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7,  "as a man thinks in his heart so is he."  Be careful what you think about because, you will eventually become what you think. And you can't think one thing and become something else. If you allow youeself to think negative worried, fearful thoughts, then you will become a negative, worried, fearful person. You cannot think defeat and expect victory. You can't think the worst, and expect the best. You've got to be extremely careful and extremely aware about what you allow your mind to think about.  And what you choose to dwell on. Quit thinking about what you don't have and start thinking about what you do have. Quit thinking about what is wrong with you and start thinking about what's right with you.  Quit thinking about how big your problem is and start dwelling on the fact of how big your God is.

"It's not the size of the mountain... It's the strength of the mountain mover" "Mountain get out of my way" "Hide behind the Mountain" "Rough side of the mountain"... All too familiar.

...well said...

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